The little brown bag

Yesterday I brought home a little brown bag. (No, it wasn’t a bottle of booze – that’s a big brown bag!) This brown bag was filled with beading supplies. (Oh boring, you say!)

Regard Exhibit A:

Not long after I finished my first beading project, I was thinking about what else I could do. I think the impulse to bead really stems from my severe lack of jewellery. I’ve never been one to buy a lot of it, contenting myself with a few pairs of small earrings and some necklaces that are for the most part uninspiring. I do have a couple of rings that I like (but don’t wear them very often) which round out my small collection of jewellery. It’s pretty sad, really, that a woman could get to my age and not accumulate more of it!

If I really think about it, I know where my sticking point is: I like nice jewellery but I think I’m just too cheap to buy it. Or too cheap to buy it for myself, to be more precise. I have been known to buy some lovely pieces for my sister-in-law and mother, for the bridesmaids at my wedding, and probably for other women in my life over the years. But somehow when it comes to spending my money on jewellery for myself, I just can’t justify it.

So this is how I am justifying it I suppose. I’m making it myself this time. It’s creative. It’s unique. It’s cheaper. Someday maybe I’ll get better at not having to justify it at all. Why do I have to? Someday I’ll actually go into a store and buy something for me. Something nice. Something expensive. Something that will make my husband gasp when he sees … the bill.

Some day. When I give myself permission. And when I feel the urge to buy instead of make.

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