If you don’t have a will you should be scared as hell

A couple of months ago my husband and I sat down with someone and did a very important thing. It was something we had been *meaning to do* for more than three years now and had just never gotten around to it.

We made a will.

Do you have one? If you own property or have young children, you should. Actually, to be perfectly frank: if you don’t have a will you should be scared as hell and run out and get one soon. I don’t think that we were scared enough ourselves that we didn’t have a will. We should have been. Dying without a will in place is not a good idea.

First off, let me ask you two questions:

1. Do you care who your assets go to if you die?
2. Do you care who becomes your child’s (or children’s) guardian if you die?

Our answers to both of these questions was a resounding YES. And having a will now means that we have made legally-binding decisions to take care of both of those issues if and when the time comes.

In November 2010 The BC Notaries Society found that only 51% of BC adults had a will in place – a shocking number, really. Why is that? Are we lazy? Do we trust too much in the system? Are we too busy to make time to do this stuff even though we know it’s important? Yes, it’s probably a little of all those answers. It was for us for sure.

We went to a notary to create our will, and she was quite helpful. Of course, she had been through the process many times before with other clients and was good guide for us along the way. It didn’t take that much time (just two meetings) and it forced my husband and I to have some good “what if…?” sort of conversations. I must admit that it was a somewhat unsettling process, and I did have a tear come to my eye once or twice thinking about the worst case scenarios, but it was all worth it in the end. We walked out of the notary’s office with a will AND a long list of other “to do” items and questions around our deaths that we knew we had to take care of right away.

I know the holidays may not be the right time to think about death and wills, but really – when is? The timing doesn’t have to be right. We put off making a will for far too long – scarily long – and time just went by. If you haven’t yet made a will, don’t put it on your New Year’s resolution list, just make the call now and set up an appointment for early January with a notary or lawyer that you know. If you have to, scare yourself into doing by imagining the worst: if you and your partner died this Christmas, what would happen to your children? I’m sure you’d like the chance to choose their guardian and determine how your estate gets divided and settled – a will will do it.

If I’ve got you thinking, here’s some light reading to get you going:

What Happens When You Die Without A Will

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Six Reasons Why It’s Important to Find Your Tribe

This past summer I took part in a Kelly Rae Roberts course called Flying Lessons: Tips & Tricks to Make Your Creative Business Soar. It was a great course! And the learning and support is still going on via a Facebook group that I’m a part of. Today the participants decided to do a blog hop, all talking about how the course made a difference for us. Here’s my post about the importance of gathering a tribe of like-minded people around you. Links to the other participants’ posts are included at the end of it.

Six Reasons Why It’s Important to Find Your Tribe

I consider myself one lucky woman.

As I’ve moved through the weeks and months of starting a new business I’ve been particularly blessed in the support that I’ve received from both people that I do and don’t know. And it has got me thinking how important it is for all of us to find a community where we feel accepted and supported and energized to do the things we want to do.  Some people call this a “tribe” – a group of people you’ve gathered around you who are your kind of people. They may be your friends or family who know you in “real” life, or they may be wonderful connections you’ve met online. Either way, finding your tribe is an important step in doing what you love.

Here are six reasons why:

1. Your tribe understands your drive for something more. Some folks are happy with the status quo – they don’t need something more.  Other folks are always looking for the next creative endeavour they can undertake. If you’re the latter (like me), find others who are too.

2. You can turn to your tribe when times are TOUGH. When you’re rejected, when you’re sad, when you’re angry…you can call upon your tribe to buoy you up. And they will. (Chances are, they’ve been there too and they’ll know what to say.)

3. You can turn to your tribe when times are GREAT. Not everyone loves to share in other people’s successes, but your tribe does. They are genuinely pleased for you when your life is awesome. They’re not caught up in their own “stuff” at that moment, but just celebrating YOU. You need that.

4. Your tribe can help you more because they know what you’re talking about. Not everyone in our inner circle always understands the nature of our business, whether we’re artists or trainers or hair stylists or writers or whatever our calling happens to be. Our spouses or family members might love us but they might not have a clue as to what it means to do what we do. But your tribe does. If you gather a group of people around you that are doing what you do, they might be able to help you get where you want to go faster because they’re on the same path. They know what to do.

5. Connecting with your tribe is good for your health. It’s no shock that researchers have found out that not doing what we love makes us sick. Surrounding yourself with supportive people who are also making strides to live their best life helps keeps you happy and healthy. Hey, we’ve all heard that laughter is the best medicine!

6. Your tribe ”gets” you. Not everybody does. (And that’s OK.)

So, go find your tribe! They are waiting for you…

Here are all the other participants of the blog hop – many of them are artists so enjoy the beauty of hopping!

Amaranthine Violet http://magic-gypsy.blogspot.com/

Amy Hillenbrand  http://amyhillenbrand.blogspot.com

Beatriz Peñas B. http://beatrizbepe.blogspot.com/

Carmen Patti – http://carmenpattistudio.com

Carol Bray     http://theredpaintedcottage.blogspot.com

Christina Fajardo http://christinafajardo.blogspot.com/

Cindy Jones Lantier – http://www.lantier.org

Connie Rawlins - http://www.dabblinginlife.blogspot.com

Dana Brock - http://www.dzynbydana.blogspot.com

Deborah Velásquez-http://deborahvelasquez.blogspot.com

Elissa Brown- http://thefreckledarmy.blogspot.com

Hillary Courson – http://www.hillarycourson.com

Jacquie Williamson – http://www.jacquiewilliamson.blogspot.com

Jane Paynting  http://inkspiredwings.wordpress.com

Janet Forrest http://tatterednworn.wordpress.com/

Jennifer DeVille http://jenniferdeville.com/blog

Jill Lambert – http://www.jill-lambert.blogspot.com

Julie Hamilton   http://spaark.wordpress.com

Kanchan Mahon - http://Kanchan-Mahon.blogspot.com/

Karen Claverie http://giddyupletsride.blogspot.com

Kari DeSaulnier - http://karidesi.blogspot.com/

Kathleen Conard http://newfromoldcreations.blogspot.com/

Kathleen McKinnon- http://harmonyschoolhouse.com/expressions-blog.html

Kathy May-http://kathymaydesigns.org

Kelley Miller http://www.kelleymillerartworks.blogspot.com

Kelly Corso- http://birdinatreecreations.blogspot.com/

Kelly Hoernig – http://kellyhoernig.blogspot.com

Kim Hyer-http://www.apaperaddict.com/

Kris Lanae Binsfeld -  http://cherishdesigns.wordpress.com

Lenore Angela -http://www.lenoreangela.blogspot.com/

Linda Barutha –http://lindabaruthadesigns.blogspot.com

Lisa Michele Products - http://www.lisamicheleproducts.blogspot.com/

Liza Zeni Baker – http://www.lizazeni.wordpress.com

Lori Leissner–http://leissnerart.blogspot.com

Lori Moon – http://lorimoonstudio.blogspot.com

Mary Sterk - http://justmarydesigns.wordpress.com

Megan Schmitt  http://schmittenwithwords.blogspot.com

Melanie Douthit http://douthitgallery.blogspot.com

Michelle Dwyer http://www.magnetisedbylife.com/

Michelle Reynolds - http://shellsinthebush.blogspot.com/

Rachél Payne (Rae)  http://collectingyourself.wordpress.com/

Rain Hannah - http://honeyandollie.com/

Rhiannon Connelly - http://www.starrybluesky.wordpress.com

Ruth-Mary Smith http://patchworkfamilieshub.blogspot.com

Sherry Richert Belul - http://simplycelebrate.net/cherry-blossom-soup

Shirley Ann http://leonardarenaissancewoman.blogspot.com/

Stacey Chadwick Brown –  http://staceybrownarts.blogspot.com/

Susan M. Walls-Beverly - http://www.susanscharmingtrinkets.blogspot.com

Teresa Cash-Czech http://asmilemaker.com

Tina Carlborg – http://tinachicky.blogspot.com

Tonya Love –  http://passport2creativity.com

Ursula Smith http://www.EasyScraps.com/blog

Zulma Cadena  http://edustory.wordpress.com

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The “Bare Bones” Dinner Party

I’m wondering today why people don’t invite each other over for dinner very much anymore. Is this just happening in Victoria, or is it happening everywhere?

I love to host and entertain and I love to go to other people’s houses too. But getting an invite seems to be a rare occurrence in this town, people seem so busy. My question is, is everyone as busy as they look, or are we all sitting at home alone at night wishing to be somewhere else, wondering why no one has asked us over … when we ourselves have never extended an invitation?

As people who know me know, I’m an organizer. I love to plan and organize events for other people to come to. This can involve entertaining others for dinners and other events at my place, or somewhere else. But you know what? I have realized that I don’t do this very much anymore because getting a return invitation is pretty rare. Living in a city where I actually know a fair amount of people and have friends, this is pretty sad! It’s time to turn over a new leaf. Will you help?

To spur on the practice of inviting friends over for dinner, so they can actually – gasp! – see where you live, I’ve come up with some instructions on hosting a “Bare Bones” Dinner Party. There are only ten things to do.

Go forth, dinner hosters! Maybe, if I get lucky, I’ll be on your invitation list soon.

Instructions for Hosting a “Bare Bones” Dinner Party

1. Make friends (or hopefully you already have some)

2. Send an email to one or two (or more) friends, asking them over to your house for dinner

3. Work out a time on a night in the future (2-3 weeks in advance might work) that works for all of you

4. Tell the friends that you are going to make the “main” dish and ask them to bring something. Literally, tell them what to bring, as in, “I was hoping you would bring a salad.” Make sure all the courses are covered. If they offer to bring wine or something else, say yes (if you like wine or “something else”). Ask your friends if they  have any dietary issues that you should know about.

5. A day or two before the dinner, buy the ingredients for your main dish. If you don’t know how to cook, Google “how to make a pot roast” (or similar) and follow the super-easy instructions. If you or your guests are vegetarian, Google “how to make something vegetarian” (or similar). If you do know how to cook, get out your recipe books and plan something creative and yummy. (My default cooking site is always CookingLight.com.) Preferably, make a dish that you put into the oven to bake, not something on the stove. This will allow you to visit more with your friends when they come over.

6. The day before the dinner, clean your bathroom quickly (toilet and sink at least).  Also, do a quick dust of the surfaces that the guests will see in your living areas on their visit. (Estimated time: 15 minutes total)

7. The day of the dinner, shower and wear clothes.

8. The afternoon of the dinner, tidy up a few things around the house like toys or whatnot. Don’t spend too long on this, your house doesn’t have to be spotless. Just make sure that your guests will have somewhere uncluttered to sit, a clean dining table, and a clear path to walk through the house.

9. Make the main dish that you planned, putting it either on top of or in the oven depending on the timing of things. Plan it so that the main dish is going to be ready about an hour after your guests arrive. Make sure you have enough clean dishes available for the food and the drink.

10. Sit back and relax. Wait for your friends to arrive. Whey they get there, welcome them, pour them a drink and DO NOT apologize for your house being too small, too cluttered, too dirty, too anything. Just BE. They are your friends after all. They are already predispositioned to like you and have a good time.

And, then, have that good time. Let me know how it goes!

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Into the great beyond

Well, I’ve done it. I’ve made my business website live. What a step! I’m thrilled and also a whole bunch of other emotions all mixed up in a bag. (Yes, fear is one, I’ll admit it!)

It seems like these days I’ve been talking a lot about fear. And you know, I wish more of us would talk about fear more often. I think it’s freeing to divulge to others what scares us, what stops us up, what prevents us from doing all the things we want to do. As long as the other person treats that information with kindness of course.

A little fear may be a good thing, but too much fear prevents us from living our dreams. We need to figure out ways to get over it! I think honesty is a good place to start.

I’m one of those people who loves to have honest conversations. I’d like to see who people really are, not a false front that they put forward to look like they’re holding it all together. Show me who you really are, and then you and I can connect on so many levels. We ALL have fear – let’s be more honest about that first and then figure out how to overcome it. I bet we can do a much better job of getting over fear if we support each other along the way.

Anyway, these are some of the things I’ll be exploring in my business doing workshop facilitation and motivational speaking. I’ve already been exploring them in my life for years! If you want to join me on my journey, come on over to check out what I’m doing. I’m posting blog posts through that site now too around doing what we love, loving where we work, and working effectively. I’ll still continue to post here about kids, travel, cooking, musings and the rest of the stuff that makes up the jumble of life.

To the journey beyond…

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Sometimes my best ideas come in the middle of the night

I am the last person in the world that would consider myself a nighthawk, yet sometimes my best ideas have come to me in the middle of the night. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I go to bed early! Sometimes when I’m heading upstairs at the end of the night (for me) my husband laughs and says, “You’re going to bed ALREADY?” To which I answer, “Yep!”, almost with a touch of glee. I really do love bed.

Most times I sleep right through the night, like our now-preschooler daughter who has always been a good sleeper. But then there are other nights, nights like tonight, when for the life of me I just can’t do it. My brain – going a mile a minute – wakes me up. And thinks of business ideas! Work ideas! Ideas for life and play! Blogging ideas! Wow. My ideas come in a wide and strong rush that I can’t seem to find the faucet for to turn them off.

And so I get up.

Usually I come to the computer in these wee hours, to do a little checking and poking around on the net. Tonight I’m catching up on Kelly Rae Roberts’s “Flying Lessons” course, which I’ve been participating in for a couple of weeks now. (Love Kelly Rae…she’s exactly what I need right now) And I’ve just had an idea for my business that I will test in the light of day tomorrow when I really wake up. You see, sometimes my night ideas can be a little crazy. And other times they can be just what I have been looking for all along, an answer to something I was seeking. (Thanks subconscious!)

I come by this insomnia honestly I suppose. It was funny to bump into my father while on vacation with he and my mom last year. And by “bump into” I mean that we met a couple of times in the middle of the night in the living room of the two-bedroom condo we were all staying in together. We were two peas in a pod, bonding over our midnight computers. Two idea people at work, just at the strangest hours.

Sometimes my best ideas come in the middle of the night. What about you?

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